She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
