I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
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I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
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My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
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