you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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