i just wanna soil my oats bro
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I puked a lego.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
