i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
