just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize