he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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