she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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