That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
