best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
they call him Oral-B. enough said
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
