he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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