The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
