I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
being pregnant is like rehab
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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