he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
