oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
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his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
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You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang