she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You are a genius and a whore.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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