I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
