did you get engaged???
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
