Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
third nipple confirmed
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
