I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
