yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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