sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."