porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased