We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
