i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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