Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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