i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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