I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
