he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
