At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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