i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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