Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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