I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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