U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
