no, he came in my armpit
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
