I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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