look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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