The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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