don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
