Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Just puked most of my soul out..
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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