I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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