You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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