I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
