I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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