For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm like, not good at living.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
