Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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