their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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