Kiss
Puke
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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