Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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