i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
