? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My hand turned me down
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize