The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
The beer is more important than you right now.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
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