you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
birth control should be required to get into college
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
