Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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