Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
