Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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