I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
