You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm just crazy horny about you
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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