How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Randomize
