My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
this will be a night to untag.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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