I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
