And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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