The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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