i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
