apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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