I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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