Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
